If you have a problem....

*Ask Faceman * Ask BA * Ask Murdock * Ask Hannibal*


In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit, these men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.

In 2010, a unit of Army Rangers were sent to prison for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security prison/psychriatric hospital and escaped.

Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune in the depths of Tumblr. If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them, maybe you can hire THE A TEAM.

Do you have a problem? A question? Why don't you ask The A Team? Either as a unit or individually? Feel free to leave a message.
Asker Anonymous Asks:
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
asktheateam asktheateam Said:

“Okay so.. some incredible feat.. Riding three horses and a cow at the same time. UPSIDE DOWN. ONE HANDED. IN A TUTU?”
“Go home, Murdock.”
“But I just got here. Do you have any idea how much convincin’ power it takes to get a crazy man three horses and a cow for the day, Faceman?”
“No. And I don’t want to.”
“I didn’t say you had to! I’ll gladly volunteer!”
“Now Face, that was a feat worthy of a klondike bar Captain.”  
“Check and mate, Visage.”
“Was a feat worthy of a fool.”
“I still think we should have just bought one.”

Asker Anonymous Asks:
It's been decided that all four of you will spend the day at a carnival. What would your plans be for it? What would everyone do? What if Decker showed up?
asktheateam asktheateam Said:

“We’d have to go on all the rides, ‘specially the fast ones that go upside down, and we’d have to get cotton candy, and win a whole lotta prizes—”

“Murdock, we don’t have time to go to a carnival!”

“Yeah fool, you think Decker gonna jus’ let us go to a carnival?Man, he’ll have the place surrounded”


“I dunno BA, I don’t think rollercoasters are his bag. Hear they make him sick.”

“We really don’t have time for ONE ride, Colonel?”

“Well one ride won’t be so bad. “ 

“AW HANNIBAL”

“Hannibal, it’s not just going to be one ride! If you let him go on one, he’ll want to go on ALL of them.”

“And I want a prize.”

“You’re no fun Lieutenant. Murdock wants a prize, I want pizza. I’m sure there’s something for BA in there. Think of all the friends you can make Face.”

“Man I ain’t going to no carnival jus’ so that fool can act all crazy an’ Face can scam ladies”

“Who said I was going to ‘scam ladies’ B.A.? That hurts my feelings!”

“Nobody said anything about scamming ladies BA, take it easy. Lighten up, we’ll go in, grab some popcorn, Murdock can get his prize and we’ll be out of there before Decker even makes it to the concessions stand.”


Not to sound the alarm but I think I have a problem. I got a letter this morning that said I needed to be careful or something terrible was going to happen to my “pretty little face”. Then I got several phone calls in the span of three hours that basically consisted of heavy breathing, and that I really needed to be more careful.

…Did I upset someone lately, Hannibal? 

Asker Anonymous Asks:
....You guys ate Lynch for lunch? Did you do that with Decker too?
asktheateam asktheateam Said:

“Well Lynch was for lunch so we had Decker for brunch.”
“Hey you rhymed Colonel!”
“Can we have marshmallows after?”
“Why are we talking about eating people!?”
“Oh have some fun, Face.”
“Fool I eat food, don’t eat no people. Didn’t your momma ever tell you it’s wrong to eat things with faces?”
“Now don’t even go there, big guy. I saw the faces your momma used to make on your pancakes, Scooter. She showed us pictures.”

You can get pizza, but watch out for Decker. If you don’t check in when you’re supposed to I’m presuming we’re under attack and waking BA, and you’ll never see another anchovy again, you know how he hates them.

- Hannibal

I’d really like a pizza just about now..
I could break out and it’d be a-okay then, right? Right under Decker’s proverbial nose! All sneaky-like. In stealth mode, as it were.
Pizza party at Face’s maison du jour! Where can I find you at, Faceguy?

- Murdock.

I just thought it be nice since we haven’t had jobs this week, and Murdock’s been stuck in the VA. It wasn’t like I was going to go as myself either! Well I feel bad since I promised him pizza…could I drop it off for him at least, Colonel?

-Faceman 

So you’re going for a movie night at the VA huh Lieutenant? Hope you savor that pizza Captain because once the pair of you get hauled to Fort Bragg there’ll be nothing but bread and water. Seriously, what are you thinking? Why don’t you just invite Decker and his goons to movie night so he can pick you up quicker? You’re going nowhere Face, you’re on perimeter duty.

- Hannibal.

A-Team! I have a problem. What do you think is some great Halloween costume ideas? I know, not a HUGE pending matter but I am curious to what you guys would think are good choices! I trust your decisions. Thanks boys.
asktheateam asktheateam Said:

“BATMAN!”
“How about Catwoman? A girl might want to dress up as a woman!”
“FACE! This is Halloween, not Playboy centerfold.”
“What? I’m not allowed to have fun?”
“Face, this is a holiday for children, about receiving candy. It is not a holiday to air out your little fantasies. Keep those for the nightcaps with the ladyfriends Lieutenant.”
“Well sorry. I never got to do Halloween.”
“And if you keep campaigning for skin tight leather costumes you never will!”
“Hey why don’t we dress up this year? B.A. and me can do something together!”
“Fool BA Baracus don’t dress up in nothin’.”

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Well, well look what we've got here! Never thought you'd be dumb enough to use this but now I'll find you easier Smith. You and your Team can't keep out running me! -Col. Decker
asktheateam asktheateam Said:

Decker! I see you finally joined the party, what took so long? Did Crane have to entice you away from Myspace? Nobody’s been there since 2003. I wouldn’t have figured you for a social network kinda guy, what with your lack of social skills and your sorry excuse for a network, what they let into the US army these days! Wasn’t like that back in Vietnam huh?